can i order the tight hug until i feel okay?

what i lived for? 

what i fight for? 

and

what i am crying for? 

.

just nothing. 

yes, nothing. 

i am nothing. 

people say "oh gurl, u should be happy, what's wrong with u? "

bitch, what's wrong with me? what?! 

i always like this, and they never know what happened to me. so please take down, stop saying "u should be happy" cause i am trying, yes. i am trying. 

but, how can i've been happy? while my happiness is nothing. yeah, idk more. 

so, WHY I AM CRYING NOWW!!!!! 

for who? who the fcking people make me ugly crying at the middle of night like this? 

  oou is the man i love the much i can't have haha. 

what's make me crying? nothing, or maybe my ugly face? of course,  no! i just can't let him. or maybe i can, but i'm not stronger to see him with someone else. oh dude, WHY I AM BEING SELFISH NOW?! i'm crazy. Yes. 

just take a rest for my soul. nothing to do, but my heart- ,oh why my heart like this? because of GRED? yes, sometimes i don't know it's feeling of pain or GRED. 

SO, 

Can i order the tight hug until i feel okay?